Not On Assignment

A journo's jottings under no deadline pressure (since Jan 1, 2010)

By invitation: Practicing for the Games

with one comment

Satire: A blog entry by SnowLeopard

Practicing for the Games

Preparations for the commonwealth which will be held in Delhi (hopefully this year), are in full swing. And our sporting stars are not far behind. Since the last few weeks a number of them have been captured on camera, training for their event(s). Lack of training facility in the country means that sometimes, they have to make use of the surroundings to condition themselves.
Yesterday, Bihar assembly was kind enough to allow a practice session in their premises. The star attraction was Dr. Jyoti who showed her shot put and hammer throwing skills using the earthen pots that were readily available. It went well until she dropped due to exhaustion.
Inside the house weightlifting and wrestling events were being practiced. Dart throwing was also there, when the speaker was kind enough to allow his face to be used as the target board for the slippers that were being used in place of darts. While speaking to media, the speaker confessed that he would have preferred the use of darts, as the free acupuncture massage would have saved him some money. Moreover the team spirit shown by the MLAs during walkout left no doubt that India has a medal assured in the team events.
Discus throwing is another event in which India has a good chance. Kashmiri youths have being practicing the art using stones since a while now. The distance is good, they just need to refine their technique now. Medal in shooting is a sure. Actually we will win all medals in shooting. Courtesy the Naxals, who in the past year have trained so many sport stars and given them ample practice. Archery comes a close second, because though there are tribal’s who prefer bow and arrow while shooting the CRPF targets but its use is depleting each day.
Boxing practice has been going on since a while now. Mamta Bannerjee has been throwing hooks and punches in all direction, without caring two hoots for where they land and sometimes can be seen riding the supporters wave in Bengal while practicing for the wind surfing tournament. Jairam and Kamal Nath have been sparring partners since a long time now. In CPM and BJP, it is a free for all.
The latest news came that a few new sporting events will be held this time. And it will further boost India’s chance of capturing the top spot in the medals tally. The new events include passing the buck, rioting, vandalising public property, urinating on public walls, honour hunting(a new game developed by the Khaps) and eve teasing/harassment (Now this game our coaches know so well. Especially the women’s hockey coach).

Here’s the link to the blog post (with appropriate photos)

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Written by Raju Bist

September 2, 2010 at 10:05 pm

One Response

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  1. Thanks for the free advertisement 😛

    Prateek

    July 28, 2010 at 10:23 am


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