Not On Assignment

A journo's jottings under no deadline pressure (since Jan 1, 2010)

Archive for May 2010

Presence of mind

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He is a cherubic, perennially smiling, 12-year-old Rajasthani delivery boy. He works for the local grocery-cum-vegetable store. Nobody knows his real name so the housewives in our residential complex have nicknamed him Chhotu.
One evening, one of the housewives from building B3 caught him chomping away on a carrot while on an errand to building B1.
”OK Chhotu, so this is what you always do – eat the goodies meant for various households,” she teased him.
”Oh no, maam, I never do this with eatables meant for your building,” came the prompt reply.
He smiled that innocent smile of his, hopped, skipped and scampered away!

Written by Raju Bist

May 28, 2010 at 10:33 pm

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Scene in a marriage – 3

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How a wife addresses her husband over the years:
First five years of marriage: Suniyeji
5-10 years: Suniye
10-15 years: Suno
After 15 years: Suon

Written by Raju Bist

May 26, 2010 at 12:00 am

NOA salutes – 3

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What is it about the recent UPSC exams that they are throwing up one inspirational story after the other?
Here’s one closer to home:
Rashmi Zagde, daughter of a Class IV employee in the Pune Municipal Corporation and a housewife, has cleared the UPSC exams – in her fifth attempt. A humble family background, the birth of a child and financial constraints didn’t deter her from attempting the prestigious exams.

Credit also goes to her husband Siddharth Zagde, who encouraged her at every step of the way and even sold his five acre farm and flat to fund her exam preparations.
Full story here in the Mumbai Mirror.
(Disclaimer: NOA has highlighted the above report based on information available in the public domain but is not responsible for the veracity of the same).

Written by Raju Bist

May 23, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Qayamat se qayamat tak…

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Overheard on the way to office:
“This must be the shortest marriage in history.
“The two got married during the day. In the evening, during the reception, as the two were standing on stage, the girl ribbed him with a ‘Your father did not have even 300 bucks to pay for your shoes my cousin sisters had hidden in the afternoon!’ Enraged, the boy gave the girl one tight slap, right in front of all the guests!
“Seeing this, the girl’s brothers jumped on the stage and started beating up her husband.
“Then the boys relatives started beating up her brothers.
“Suddenly there was a free-for-all. In the midst of the melee, the boy’s father shouted, ‘We don’t want this girl. My son is divorcing her!’
“Then the girl’s father – not to be outdone – marched into a nearby police station and registered a dowry complaint against the boy’s family.
“The end result?
“The boy did not get to enjoy his suhaag raat. Instead, he, his father and two other male relatives cooled their heels in the police lock-up that night!”

Written by Raju Bist

May 22, 2010 at 6:07 pm

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Jai Maharashtra!

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To the outsider, i.e., somebody from outside Maharashtra, the Marathi manoos is a colourless, boring, humourless guy, the equivalent of the stiff upper lip British.
But thrown him among his own ilk and you can see his sense of humour suddenly blooming.
Sample this incident:
A motorcyclist rides into his housing complex and sees a bunch of neighbours standing next to the security cabin and talking amongst themselves.
He slows down, quips “Standing committee ka?” (What, standing committee?) and before any of the “members” can react, zooms off towards his parking lot!

Written by Raju Bist

May 22, 2010 at 12:01 am

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Big Nate fan club expands

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Ever since I recently reviewed Big Nate – The Boy With The Biggest Head In The World for the magazine I edit, I have become a fan of the 11-year-old.
I am in great company. I discovered that his comic strip is syndicated to 200 US newspapers.
Nate is funny, irreverent, and succeeds in taking us back to the era when we men were boys.
Sample the brilliance of the comic creator (cartoonist-writer Lincoln Peirce) here.

Written by Raju Bist

May 19, 2010 at 7:19 am

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Rishta hi rishta

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MJ, a chemical trader in north Bombay, was delighted. An old friend in Allahabad had agreed to get his beautiful daughter married to MJ’s son SM, a tax consultant.
But then SM dropped a bombshell.
He was in love with a local girl. What’s more, they had secretly married the previous week.
End of story, right?
Wrong!
The head of the Allahabad family declared: “We will get our daughter married only into your household!”
So a quickfix solution was found: the girl would marry SM’s younger brother HM.
Never mind if dim-witted HM is still studying in the 12th standard (when he should have cleared his final year of college by now).
And never mind that the girl is only 16 years old!

Written by Raju Bist

May 18, 2010 at 6:29 pm

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